The journey began the same as many others have before. As the sun lowered in the sky, the mountain cast it’s shadow over me and I knew it was time. I felt the desire to feel the warmth of the sunlight again before the day’s end. I gathered my pack- a journal, a pen, and granola bar. I put on a sweatshirt, hat, and gloves to prepare for a Fall afternoon in the Southern Idaho mountains. I said goodbye to Quinn and set off up the mountain. There was no trail but I had a belief that I would find my way.

The Junipers were magnificent. They were a luscious green, speckled with the blue of their berries. They had thick, inviting grass around their bases that had surely been home to many shady picnics. It was hard to not get caught up in the beauty of everything around me. I felt I had a mission of reaching the sunlight over the top of the mountain though, so I pushed onwards.

I turned back and saw the rapids up the Bear River, the top of my van, and the steep canyon walls I was surrounded by. I sat down and took it all in. In front of me were some Maples. They rose up at an angle from the sloped mountainside, reaching towards the sun that disappears quickly on this cool north face. I knew I had my goal, but also didn’t know if that was just a silly thought. Maybe this spot, sitting here, was my place to be. I stopped at the gorgeous Maple, shed naked and almost looking dead at first glance. But she is so so alive. The colors on her bark were breathtaking and shook me to my core. Gold, orange, and silver speckled the branches. I thought about how everywhere I look is alive and beautiful. My gaze drifted up and I was captivated by the clouds. The figure of a woman appeared. I felt the loving and tender care of a woman. I longed for the cloud to reveal who she was so I could find her in my life. Her expression changed many times and finally, she revealed herself as Mother Nature. I felt a renewed sense of my mission to crest the mountain. She told me to continue onwards.

Seated

Up I went. Astonishingly, a trail kept appearing before me. It was hard to believe how natural it felt, me finding my way with absolutely no research to park at a trailhead or find a trail. I did not rush finding my way. The gratitude washed over me. I said “Happy Thanksgiving”, and the life around me understood.

I saw the mountain across from me was alive. He was ancient and slowly breathing. The Earth swelled from geothermal activity beneath it, and I saw the marks from hot springs of long ago. I recognized the look of the earth from my many hikes up the hillside where I work at Maple Grove.

Breathing mountain

I came to an impasse. I did not want to hurt the trees that had overgrown the trail so I paused and searched for a way. Then, I inspected the branch closer and realized it was quite old and frail looking. It was dead. I grabbed it with my left hand and placed by right foot on top of it and snapped it cleanly. The instant it snapped, I felt an old man feel relief from discomfort that had been building in him for longer than I can imagine. I felt the way of the samurai. The joy, love, and gratitude I felt all around me in this moment was like nothing I’d ever experienced before. I couldn’t stop smiling as I picked burrs out of my gloves and threw their seeds on the ground around me.

I could feel my purpose finally! This trail hadn’t seen a human in some time and we both rejoiced. I kept the branch I snapped off as a walking staff. He was my friend now. On the gentle slope, I leaned my back against him and he supported me. I nuzzled him and he massaged my back. It was lovely and well reciprocated. I could feel who I am beginning to shine through. I was remembering. The story was starting to unfold.

I continued upwards. I peeked blue through the trees and knew I was on the right path. But I also knew there were still many unknowns about what lay ahead.

Me

I felt the story. The Alchemist, The Lord of the Rings, The Name of the Wind, The Wizard of Oz, etc. I saw my friends who had helped me along the way. We smiled at each other and shared in the joy of knowing we’d helped each other realize their destiny. They taught me valuable lessons and helped me when I needed it most. We now share a strong bond and will be friends forever.

The trail was incredibly clear and well defined now. I saw the imprints of cattle hooves in the ground and realized that they had carved the entire trail I’d been on. They’d been working for years on this land, creating a safe passage from the summit to the river down below. What incredible beings!

I came to an opening in the trees and turned to see my surroundings. Oh my, did I see. A sight so beautiful that it will go down in history as one of the most perfect sights ever. The birds, the river, the snow-capped mountains in the distance. I saw how far I’d come. The photo will never do it justice but I remember. The birds will remember. We were all one, joining in thanksgiving.

Vista

When I finally reached the sunlight, I was drunk on it. I stumbled up the rocky terrain, laughing and in a state of bliss as my cheeks were warmed. I’d finally reached the other side of the mountain. There was a gently sloping pasture of bright green grass where a herd of deer were lazily eating. There were electrical lines coming from the Oneida Narrows dam up river. There were houses in the distance, running alongside ID-34. It was majestic.

I saw the tire tracks running along the hillside. I felt the history of this land now. Generations have called it home. I felt the picnics, the proposal, the children playing, the love, the death, the grief, and the sorrow. It was beautiful. Was the land telling me all of this? No, I was remembering what the land is always saying. The present lives the past, always. Nothing is forgotten. Time is an illusion.

The land on the south side of the mountain

I looked around me and saw there was still mountain to climb to get to the summit so I ran. I felt pure joy and truly alive as I ran. My heart beat fast and my lungs filled with the crisp air as I charged up the tire tracks left in the grassy mountainside. I found pleasure in pushing my body to it’s limit and smiled as my lungs started to burn. My stick and I been on a long journey and felt welcomed by all of history as we closed in on the summit.

I took it all in. I looked at my Maple stick and saw an eye in the bend of the branch. It was a pelican. He asked me if I was ready. I’d seen the beauty and the joy, the miracle of life- was I ready now to live every moment of my life with the knowledge that this is always there? Overcome my fears of what others may think of me and choose to love wholly and unconditionally anyways. I wavered. I did not think I was strong enough. I wanted desperately to say yes, but I knew I would fail at some time. I felt small and weak. Then, he laughed. I’d already accepted. He knew that I didn’t think I was good enough. That was the requirement to accept such an invitation! We laughed together and I was relieved. I realized that failure wasn’t the point, it was refusing to let failure keep you from trying again. This, I knew that I could do. With tears in my eyes, the crowd welcomed me as I took the last steps to the top of the mountain. We embraced and celebrated my return home. Again.

Summit

This is the story that continues to be told. It is the story as old as time. It will never end. It echoes throughout history and stands the test of time. It has been lived thousands of times before and will be lived thousands more.

Once you know. Once you have learned the lessons, the only commandment is enjoy. So, I go out into the world with love in my heart and the knowledge that this is real. That I am part of history and I have accepted the burden of representing them well. I will enjoy.

Sunset